It’s a strange question, but it always seems to pop into my head around the beginning of summer time. Usually in the months of May or June, as I notice most people wearing less and showing more. It’s not that I’m bashful or self conscious….it’s just that I USED to be fat and therefore analyze myself more during this time to see if my careless lifestyle has caught up with me. I guess I’m not as bad as most people…I try to eat relatively healthy, and avoid candy type stuff (ice cream, chocolate, ho-ho’s) but at the same time, I indulge in a bit of everything. Maybe that’s the secret…..everything in moderation, right?


I wouldn’t say I’m in great shape, but I don’t have excess fat hanging everywhere either. The most obvious physical transition that I’ve noticed is losing muscle. It must be all the long hours sitting in the studio. I USED TO HAVE PIPES. Now, my arms have shrunk – ! FUCK THAT SHIT – SEX-ED is planning on hitting up Maui in the next couple months, and I wanna look good on the beach. That means exercise.


SIGNS YOU ARE GETTING FAT (for men and women alike)


-Your lower back looks like the top of a muffin in jeans

-You boobs have gotten bigger (not a bad thing for chicks)

-Your stomach does the earthquake when doing jumping jacks in front of the mirror

-Random People touch your tummy without your permission

-The inside of your thighs have started to rub together when walking (This was a particular nuisance for me during my fat days)

-A creamy moldy substance has begun growing in your rolls (aka Crev-ass)

-You smell like pork

-You now have more than one “chin”

-People make snide comments around you when you order fast food like “are you sure?”

-please add any you may have (it helps if you have fat credibility AKA were once lardy)

I will end this by saying beauty is truly on the inside, and you’re happiness is the most important thing… have another piece of pie. 

82 Inside Beauty




  1. Anne Marie Says:

    sooooo gross yet so awesome

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