SUBSTITUTIONS FOR HAPPINESS?

HappyCowWhy don’t they mention these in self help books as temporary fixes for boredom and depression?

SUGAR

sugar

Sugar is an amazing thing. Some people use sugar on a regular basis to make their days better. For example, I woke up today and didn’t feel the best…then, I drank a large slurpee and ate 5 cent candies while sitting in the studio. The combination worked swimmingly, and before I knew it I was back on my feet jumping around and relishing my joyful existence. Some people rely on sugar to get them through the day. I am not one of those people, but I wouldn’t completely out-rule future possibilities.

sugar-high

Downside/Negative Effects: Severe crashing. Could give you a headache. Rots your teeth.  Turns you into a fatty.

Question to yourself: What is your favorite sugary snack?

COFFEE

coffee_beans

Coffee is an amazing thing. Some people use coffee on a regular basis to make their days better. For example, I woke up today and didn’t feel the best…then, I drank a large coffee and ate cinnamon toast while sitting in the studio. The combination worked swimmingly, and before I knew it I was back on my feet jumping around and relishing my joyful existence. Some people rely on coffee to get them through the day. I am not one of those people, but I wouldn’t completely out-rule future possibilities.

coffee_crash Downside/Negative Effects: Can make you stay up for extended periods. Bad Breath. Stains your teeth. Can cause caffiene dependency.

Question to yourself: What is your favorite coffee infused beverage?

MARIJUANA

WEED

Marijuana is an amazing thing. Some people use marijuana on a regular basis to make their days better. For example, I woke up today and didn’t feel the best…then, I smoked a large joint and ate peanut butter out of the jar while sitting in the studio. The combination worked swimmingly, and before I knew it I was back on my feet jumping around and relishing my joyful existence. Some people rely on marijuana to get them through the day. I am not one of those people, but I wouldn’t completely out-rule future possibilities.

hearts18stoned Downside/Negative Effects: Bad for your lungs. Can make you complacent/lazy. Can cause retardation.

Question to yourself: When was the last time you got stoned? (if it’s been in the last 24 hours, disregard this suggestion)

SEX

sex_positions_right_angle_varbSex is an amazing thing. Some people use sex on a regular basis to make their days better. For example, I woke up today and didn’t feel the best…then, I participated in carnal fornication with body whip cream while sitting in the studio. The combination worked swimmingly, and before I knew it I was back on my feet jumping around and relishing my joyful existence. Some people rely on sex to get them through the day. I am not one of those people, but I wouldn’t completely out-rule future possibilities.

bad-sex_life

temper_tantrum Downside/Negative Effects: Unwanted children. STD’s. Emotional attachment. Messy bed sheets. Forced Marriage.

Question to yourself: What’s your favorite sexual position?

I hope this helps.

-ZF

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