JOIN THE WORKFORCE.

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(click vid to play audio while reading this post)

For those who don’t know (which would prolly be most reading this) I began my career in RADIO at the age of 15. I started as a lowly board operator and worked my way up to eventually become an on air announcer and music director. By the time I was 22, I had been involved with launching 3 radio stations, and was programming a successful top 40 format in Deadmonton (my home). Although I loved radio tremendously, my true passion was writing, playing and recording music (something I had been doing since I was 11). I needed to pursue my dreams.

I decided to abandon the comfy lifestyle of the radio industry to become a starving musician – this meant having to throw myself into the workforce to pay the bills. Here are a few examples of the jobs I worked while spending every spare second planning world domination through music.

RESTAURANT SERVER

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This seemed like the most obvious job to get after I quit my comfy office career. Everyone I knew was like “just go get a job at a restaurant”. BIG MISTAKE. Holy shit did serving SUCK ASS. Or maybe I just SUCKED ASS AT SERVING. OK OK OK , If I were an attractive young female who was making dope tips for my looks, then it might not have been so bad – BUT I EVEN SYMPATHIZE WITH THOSE GIRLS. I have a lot of respect for people who can serve. I just can’t deal with people yelling at me because their fries are cold.

HIGHLIGHT: Beer and alcohol training

LASTED: 3 weeks

RETAIL SALES ASSOCIATE/MANAGER

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Sometimes I get anxiety when I walk into a clothing store, knowing what the employees are going through. Honestly, how many times can you fold and re-fold a stack of sweater to make it look like you’re doing something while the store is dead. Inventory? KILL ME. Retail is the most boring job ever ever ever, except I do have fond memories of managing a DOPE men’s store on Whyte Ave back in the day, if only cause I could sit on my laptop editing videos and listening to music (it was SO DEAD). I love clothes, but I hate selling them.

HIGHLIGHT: First dibs on cool clothing

LASTED: 4 months

ELECTRONICS STORE MANAGER

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I’m obsessed with video games, so this was KIND OF fun. Actually, this was a pretty enjoyable job, only cuz my boss was this old Jewish dude who gave me the benefit of the doubt that I wasn’t a moron, and was extremely entertaining to work for. He would often refer to me as a “good boy” and would use Jewish vocabulary to describe my performance. He also had an anxiety disorder and would drop hilarious one liners like “I’m a bundle of nerves”. He was even cool enough to let me bring my keyboard into work, so I could make beats during the day while the store was slow, and play keys to the customers. Yeah, this job was pretty alright.

HIGHLIGHT: Debating the latest games with nerdy customers

LASTED: 6 months

SECURITY GUARD

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Ok, so you gotta rock a navy uniform…I guess I can pull it off, but you think they would outfit you with some sort of defensive equipment. Consider this, security guards are hired to make sure everything is in order, except they are not allowed to carry a weapon, and if anything actually DOES go down, they just call the cops. I was placed on duty at this old abandoned immigration building behind a dumpy Casino in a bad part of Edmonton. With two homeless shelters across the street from each other, you couldn’t pick a worse area to do security in. One time, a crack head tried to stab me with a needle. I used to carry a marching drum stick with me (which I shoved down my back pocket) in case I had to flex my muscle (lol). My job was to wake up any homeless people laying around the premises, but I usually just let them sleep cuz I believe in KARMA and I didn’t wanna be a dick.

HIGHLIGHT: Flexing your (totally bullshit) aura of authority

LASTED: 3 months

CALL CENTER OPERATOR (TELEMARKETER)

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WORST JOB EVER. This is probably the only job I had that made me wanna throw myself out of a window into the streets below. I was hired to “represent” various charitable organizations. This means I’m the dude that calls and harasses you for money during dinner or as you’re walking out the door. Sorry….

HIGHLIGHT: NOTHING

LASTED: 2 days

MOVIE AND TELEVISION EXTRA/PRODUCTION ASSISTANT

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This was a cool job (or can be). Big UPS to Anthony D for hooking this one up. As an extra, I was paid $20/Hour to sit around all day and eat awesome catered food while reputable film and television actors chilled nearby. It’s fun to be apart of something that actually will be seen by quite a few people. As a production assistant, I was paid the same to stand and watch a parking lot for 12 hours. Good thing I had my ipod.

HIGHLIGHT: Great food and good pay, with an opportunity to move up should you make the right connections and want to succeed in film.

LASTED: 2 weeks

THRIFT STORE SALES ASSOCIATE

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I think you automatically gain some sort of “authenticity” if you work at a Thift Store. Especially if the store is downtown Vancouver, and sells dope authentic apparel (vintage everything). I enjoyed myself a little bit more at this particular store, but my boss was crazy (he had a Korean mail order bride) and seemed really upset at me when I wasn’t CRAZY excited that he scored 1970’s Creedance Clearwarer Revival T-shirts to mark up 70% from what he actually paid. I did however, get some excellent additions to my wardrobe by working there.

HIGHLIGHT: Stigma that you’re cool cuz you sell thrift clothes

LASTED: 5 months

CLUB DJ/NIGHTLIFE ENTERTAINER

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This can be an really fun job depending on the club you’re working for. Luckily for me, when I was 18 I landed a DJ residency at a club in Edmonton that catered to a slightly older demographic. It was consistently busy, filled with Fake BALLAZ and COUGERS – and I got to play whatever I wanted…The problem is, it’s super easy to get sucked into the lifestyle and become a professional alcoholic. I don’t DJ much anymore, but I’m playing percussion out here in Vancouver, which is not as stressful, and just as fun.

HIGHLIGHT: Free drinks, Hot Girls

LASTED: 9 month residency, I’m still playing around

PROMO REP

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This job is cool as long as you’re promoting something you ACTUALLY LIKE. Which is not most of the time BTW. You normally are paid to stand around and hawk some product. It’s a good thing this job pays well because it feels like you’re being used (and you ARE).

HIGHLIGHT: Cool people to work with, good pay

LASTED: Still doin it on and off….

BARTENDER

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Apparently this is a super fun job (you can make great cash in a fun atmosphere) and I know many people who have lasted a long time in their respective positions. For me, I hated the idea of waiting on people all night while they were having a good time. I think this ties into serving too. That and they made me wear a cowboy hat while I was working. FUCK THAT SHIT.

HIGHLIGHT: Good looking colleagues

LASTED: 1 night.

VIDEO STORE CLERK

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I only had this job because I was forced to. It was brainless and semi-entertaining (if only because you can’t believe what most people rent) and the staff was pretty chill for the most part. How could they not be? You’re renting movies out. It’s not air traffic control. It’s really more boring than anything, and I can’t stand it when it feels like I’m wasting my life…

HIGHLIGHT: Watching movies before their released, making fun of peoples bad film taste.

LASTED: 3 months

LANDSCAPER

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The problem with this work is that it pertains to the weather, and it can involve back breaking labor. Overall, I found it to be helpful with my overall physique, and gave me a knowledge and awareness into how much time people actually spend on their lawns. I don’t think I ever looked like the dude driving the tractor.

HIGHLIGHT: Mowing a hot girls lawn

LASTED: 1 month (in the summer)

Wow, looking back, I feel like I’ve really earned my stripes (so to speak). I mean, all I want in this world is to do music for a living, but having all this shitty work experience really gives me APPRECIATION for when I do accomplish my goals. I can identify with what most people are thinking as they engage in a passionless day job that allows them maintain their average lifestyle.

And there you have it, every job I have ever worked. I hope this gives you some insight into my experiences (and my inability to commit to one job).

But seriously, I already really know what I wanna do with my life. I wanna change the world through music…. How are you supposed to do that working for someone else?

-ZF

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One Response to “JOIN THE WORKFORCE.”

  1. wow….such talent…do not waste any time…xxooo

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